Blog 50
In the early months
of 1996, I was slowly adjusting to the new environment. I was a stay
at home wife because I was still waiting for the acceptance as a
landed immigrant. We adopted a Golden Retriever puppy named Jessie, I
started a weekly painting course at the Ottawa School of Art, I
continued creating teddy bears, and was planning our church wedding
which would take place in June in Germany. This was a major endeavour
because I took this task on all by myself.
The closer the date
of our wedding came, the more I worried about wedding details. For
example, I dreamed about problems with my wedding dress that we had
ordered the previous fall. Unfortunately, they proved to be true.
While my dress had arrived, the lace for my veil had not been
ordered. I was just glad that my sister was there to pick another
veil with me. When I went to the store to pick up the dress, I was
almost in tears when the dress was not pink like the one I had tried
on, but a light peach. The clerk in the store told me that the
manufacturer would not guarantee for colour deviations, but offered
that I could return the dress. It was not really a choice as all
dresses had to be ordered. The delivery for the dress they had
received had taken about half a year, and my wedding was only two
months away.
My sister, who had
arrived for an Easter visit, and my sister-in-law assured me that the
dress was still beautiful, but I was devastated. It was just not the
way I had envisioned my dress. All our table decorations were colour
matched with my pink dress. It was too late to make any changes.
Picking a new veil
was also a problem because I needed it in a week, when I would come
to Mississauga for the last time before my trip to Germany. Usually,
the delivery time was 6 – 8 weeks, but in the end the store managed
to get the order in within the week. However, I had to attach the
headpiece by hand to the veil because there was no time to have it
done.
The wedding
invitation of one of my good friends from Germany made me feel quite
homesick again. Her wedding date was two weeks after our wedding.
Unfortunately, I would already be back in Canada at this time. Events
like this still get me down. It still makes me sad that I have missed
almost all of my friends' and relatives' weddings and special
birthdays.
It did not help that
I was also disappointed about my sister's visit. While this was her
vacation to relax from the daily struggles as a teacher, I wanted to
make the most of our time together. I had a hard time to accept that
she was more interested in sleeping, her books and her school
materials than in any activities I suggested. I felt lonelier than
ever. It took until the second week until we finally had a good time.
At the end of her visit, we both were sad that she had to leave.
However, we knew that we would see each other again in five weeks. I
also was very happy that two of my good friends had announced their
visits for the summer and fall.
After my sister's
visit, I felt quite homesick again. It had been almost half a year
since my last visit in Germany. While I had met some women through
the Newcomers Club, they all had small children and therefore
different priorities. Meeting for a chat or an outing during the day
was difficult for them.
On the first
anniversary of our immigration to Canada, I noted in my journal that
my world had changed drastically. While I did not miss work in my old
company at all, I still missed my family and friends badly. I wished
I could see them more often, or at least hear from them by phone or
letter more frequently. The thought of being able to see them only on
a yearly basis seemed unbearable. I hoped this feeling would change
once we had children. Little did I realize at the time that this
would mean even less trips to Germany.
Our standard of
living was definitely higher than in Germany, despite living on only
one income. We never could have afforded a house in Germany.
Moreover, life was definitely less stressful.
While we lived in
Germany, Ingo and I both had a very good salary. Our life in one
apartment made it possible for us to have a comfortable life. We had
two cars, were able to travel, and did not have to worry about money.
However, it also came with a price. Especially since I had to work a
lot of overtime hours. It would have been hard to live on one salary
if we had decided to raise a family.
If you enjoyed my
blog and would like to read all about our German wedding, please
return to this blog on Friday, December 16, 2016.
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